Interview with my husband- a dad’s perspective on new parenting


I realised recently that my blog, business and social media
accounts are all aimed at mothers. Which is absolutely my goal, but I also
wanted to include a different approach, and write a post that took into account
a father’s experience. Largely because men are well known for not being as open
as women, so a lot of men don’t feel comfortable in sharing their experience. But I think it’s important to hear their side of things.



Let’s be
honest, as much as they do have it easy compared to us mums (unless you’re a
stay at home dad), they rarely get a chance to express how they feel about this
incredible change and we sometimes forget that they’ve been through it too. Often,
dads and partners are just someone that we love to slag off as ‘useless’ to our mum
mates over a coffee because they can’t do a night feed. When in reality,
actually a lot of us are extremely lucky to have partners who are supportive
and put up with a lot of shit from us. Single parents aren’t as lucky to have the help and emotional support of a partner.



So here’s an interview I did with my husband Dave. I’ve
never asked him these questions before, and after speaking to him I actually
feel quite embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know he felt this way about so many
things. It’s made me so much more appreciative of him and respectful of his
feelings.




Has being a dad lived up to your expectations?

It has surpassed my expectations by a million miles. Before
we had Jacob I didn’t really think we were missing out on anything in not having
a baby. I was happy to wait for a year or so and enjoy ourselves but as you
liked to remind me, I wasn’t getting any younger! But since he has came into our
lives I couldn’t imagine life without him. Getting home from work and seeing
his face is the best part of my day.

How did you find the labour process?

Initially I was really looking forward to it, the whole home-birth plan really appealed to me and I was excited about it. Obviously as you
know things didn’t go according to plan, we ended up having a sleepless three
day labour which ended up with Jacob being born in hospital. Looking back now I
don’t know how you did it. It was probably the most gruelling few days of my
life so I can only imagine how difficult it was for you. The birth itself was
amazing. I’m not a squeamish person so that side of it didn’t bother me and I
was just trying to get you through it and support you the best I could. He was
definitely worth the lack of sleep!

What is your biggest worry as a dad?

I think I’m fairly laid-back as a dad but without doubt my
biggest worry is keeping Jacob safe, and when he’s asleep is when I worry most. If I ever get up through the night I always check on him to make sure he’s ok
but I think that’s only natural as a parent.

What’s the hardest part about being a dad?

Being away from you both every day is hard. I’d love to be
able to spend more time with you both during the week. Oh and the sleepless
nights!

How do you feel that our relationship has changed since
having Jacob?

I actually think our relationship is stronger now after the
past year. I have so much respect for you in how you dealt with the pregnancy
and you have been the most amazing mum to Jacob. Obviously it’s been difficult
to make time for ourselves but I know it’s just a part of being new parents and
once Jacob gets a little older and we feel comfortable leaving him we’ll get to go out for a few ‘date nights.’

Is there anything you miss about your old life?

Nights out with my mates? Having a lie in? Going the gym?
Watching the football in peace? Nah only joking, nothing at all.

Is there anything that has surprised you since having a
baby?

This might sound a bit weird because obviously I knew I was
going to love our baby but it has surprised me how absolutely besotted I am
with him. I didn’t realise you could love something so much!

Do you ever worry that you’re not doing a good enough
job?

Not really, you can only do your best and as long as Jacob’s
healthy and smiling, that’s good enough for me.

Do you struggle to understand what I go through sometimes
when I get emotional or stressed?

Probably yeah. I’d like you to talk to me more when you’re
emotional so I can understand what you’re going through rather than see you
randomly burst into tears and wonder where it came from.

Be honest, do you sometimes wonder what I do all day at
home?

At home? You’re normally out drinking coffee or having
brunch with your friends aren’t you? No seriously, I know it’s a full-time job you
have looking after him and I can see when you’ve had a tough day.

Would you like to have more kids in the future?

Of course, we want Jacob to become a big brother! Maybe have
a couple of holidays first though yeah?

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